Worst “Defying Gravity” EVER

The only thing “brought down” here was the key.  Yeah, she was sick.  But isn’t that what understudies and standbys are for?  Call out!  Tell a bitch, Fantasia.

When I hear this, all I picture is a backstage Eden, applying her green halfway through the song, as fast as she can.

In sharing this, I’ve received a nasty comment or two from Idina fans on YouTube.  I’d say I’m bothered, but that’d be a lie.  For me, hate mail’s a good time.  How I’ve dreamed of the day it’d start pouring in.  So thanks kids, for pulling yourselves outa your Grimmeries, saying hi and making a boy’s dream come true!

In fact, I thought it’d be fun to respond to a few of these comments and post my replies here, on the site.  Check ‘em out after the cut…

A [Not So] Roundabout Upstaging

In case you haven’t heard, Stephen Sondheim’s turned 80. The fairy godmother of Broadway has had quite a week of celebration, completely upstaging Andrew Lloyd Weber, whom he shares a birthday with. Whilst on the topic of upstaging…  Before Lincoln Center had a chance to recover from the combined, destructive forces of Patti and Bernadette, The Roundabout Theatre Company swooped in and surprised Stephen with a present deserving of an even gaudier bow.  Just as the curtain fell on a private performance of Sondheim on Sondheim and Sondheim, himself, entered stage left, shit got real. In an upstaging equal to what I reserve only for the cattiest of revenge, it was announced that The Henry Miller Theater will be renamed after the Queen him/herself.  That’s right.  Roundabout saw Lincoln’s bow and raised them a theater.

That next day, Patti’s publicist could be heard shouting into her phone, “The L is already there!  Just replace the ‘incoln’ with ‘uPone!’”

A few questions:

• What took so long for this to happen?  If anyone has e’er deserved a theater, it was Stephen.  But right after having written Company.  Not 40 years after.
• Who’s Henry Miller?
• How long does a theatre stay named?  And what bitch’s lease is up next?
• Most importantly, where do I sign up for mine?

Kisses,

Team Bernadette!

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Posted by: richierichster

Happy Birthday, Stephen Sondheim!

Belated, anyway.  The old queen turned 80 yesterday, bringing him one year closer to death.  He celebrated last week, pretty low-key, with a quaint gathering of 2,700 at Lincoln Center.  Oddly, when I say “quaint,” I’m using little sarcasm.  Flashback five years ago: He rung in his 75th at the 18,000-seat Hollywood Bowl.  Gays and their parties…

This year’s celebration featured performances by Michael Ceveris, Mandy Patinkin, Bernadette Peters and many more, including the other LuPone, Patti.  The Birthday Concert’s set to air on PBS, but not until next year, which is weird only ’cause you’d think time would be a sensitive matter when dealing with one now in their 80′s.

I can’t wait to see this shit, but ’til I do, I’m tided over by Broadway World’s photo coverage.  Speaking of, I have a thing or two to say about the pics that’ve popped up these past few days…

Serious question: Who the fuck tied that bow?  And did Sondheim think, even if just for a second, Lincoln Center was his present?

Can you imagine the back and forth between Bernie and Patti’s agents and the concert’s producer, ensuring one wasn’t more center-stage than the other?  Obsessed!

Who knew baby bumps were possible so long after menopause?  Oh, and PS: FACE!

Erm…  Really?!  I’m starting a rumor: You’re The One That I Want winner, Laura Osnes, is clearly sleeping with whoever casts Sondheim’s birthday parties.

What up, panty lines?

Sometimes a trademark should be retired.  Make the switch to nude stockings, girl.  But way to bring back the stirrup pant!

Top or bottom, you think?

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Posted by: topherlupone; Photo credit: Walter McBride / RETNA Ltd.

Bundy’s Bum Note

It’s a slow news week for Broadway, so I thought I’d share one of my favorite YouTubes: Laura Bell Bundy straining through the last few bars of “So Much Better” at Time Square’s Virgin Megastore.

What I love, love, LOVE about this video is, not only is she under-pitch on the last note, but she takes a breath halfway-through, only to return to the bum note!

Remember MTV’s search for the next Elle Woods and the fuss that was made over being able to hold that last note?  M’hmmm…  Save for Legally Blonde’s cast recording, I don’t think Bundy’s ever not taken a breath mid-note.  I can’t help but love her though.  And her lack of breath control.  Presh!

Sidenote and completely random, but does anyone else think Bernard Telsey looks like The Penguin from Batman Returns?

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Posted by: topherlupone

A Dumbo Idea

Disney doesn’t know when to quit.  Following the success of Tarzan, Mary Poppins and The Little Mermaid (I use “success” lightly here, as all three shows were…well, failures.), Dumbo will be Disney’s next screen-to-stage adaptation, with an emphasis on “dumb.”

I’m confused as to why, of all their animated classics, Disney thought Dumbo was best for Broadway.  Does Dumbo even have a fan base?  Yeah, we’ve all seen it.  But has anyone ever seen it more than once?!  It’s kind of depressing.  When I saw Dumbo, I had to pop a Zoloft halfway through, which is weird in hindsight, ’cause…I was seven.

Tony winner, Stephen Daldry’s rumored to direct, in what I feel’s an attempt to make Billy Elliot seem less obnoxious a show.  (PS, Daldry: It’s gonna take more than pink elephants on parade.)

Thankfully, there’s still time for a Dumbo drop.  A spokesperson for Disney was recently quoted, “Dumbo will not be on Broadway in the 2010-11 season, because it’s simply in the very early stages.”

Pump those brakes, Disney.  Pump those brakes.

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Posted by: topherlupone